Mess_iah

Healthstravaganza

Fri, 18 Jul 2008 21:09:58 GMT

With my new job, I have good health insurance, as well as dental and vision. So I figured, what the heck, I'll use them.

First, I found myself a new primary care physician and went in for some ongoing issues I've been having, mainly unexplained joint and limb pain and persistent post nasal drip. For the pain, he told me to start exercising, so I've activated my UIC gym membership, where I've been weight lifting, and I've started biking to work. For the nasal issues, he sent me to a allergist, where I found out I'm very allergic to dust mites, so they put my on oral antihistamines, had me encase my pillows and mattress in anti-mite covers, and had me lock the cat out of the bedroom. They can't seem to get me on the really good prescription antihistamines until I try all the over the counter ones...ugh. Still, I'm really glad I've found out about the dust mite allergy and am doing something about it.

Then I went to the dentist, thinking I'll just get a normal cleaning after a...couple years of not going. No such luck, apparently my gums are in bad shape, and my hygienist strongly suggested I get an electric toothbrush (apparently they're actually a good idea, who knew?) and come back for a supplementary cleaning which I did today. Apparently it's a really good thing I went in, as the dentist was all "if you don't get your gums healed up we'll have to do something...expensive...next year," ominous tones and everything!

And then, finally the vision. I didn't really figure I needed anything, but I heard that it's good to get an eye exam as a screening for eye related diseases even if you can see ok, so I figured, why not? Turns out I'm somewhat farsighted, which explains why I've been getting headaches whenever I use the computer for very long. So now I've joined the legions of the vision corrected, with glasses I wear only when using the computer or reading (they mess up my pristine distance vision.) I went with these really light (2.5 ounces) rimless glasses that you can customize pretty much everything on, including lens shape and frame colors. I should get Annamarie to take some pictures so you all can see what they look like.

With all this, my lifestyle has changed drastically over the last month. I'm getting buffer, losing weight, having less pain, and saving money by biking to work and lifting weights, I can breathe better from the allergy treatment, my gums should start healing up soon (not that they were really bothering me before, but hey) and I can work on the computer without feeling spacey and miserable afterwards. I think the eye thing is actually the biggest difference, since I use the computer so much at work and at home. I'll have to get used to these glasses before I can say for sure, but I already feel better. And all this due to having adequate health care! If I wasn't already hugely in favor of universal health care, I sure would be now, since I've seen such a difference between barely insured to sufficiently insured.

Promotion

Tue, 20 May 2008 02:53:08 GMT

As of last Friday, I've been promoted at the UIC Survey Lab to Field Coordinator. Which basically means that on top of my previous interviewer supervising duties etc., I'll be in charge of hiring interviewers, working on more planning with the other academic staff, and basically making sure that the study I'm running actually runs. It also means that I'm going to be working 40 hours a week, when I'd been doing a bit less than 20 on average before.

I was rather trepidatious about going full time. The other full time jobs I had, for Easter Seals, were, to put it mildly, awful. I ended up feeling like I had no time, dreading going into work, and having nightmares about my bosses yelling at me, or things going wrong at the office. There were many bad things about those jobs, but I worried that the full time schedule itself was a big part of the problem. Shortly after quitting the second of those jobs, I even told myself that I'd never work full time for someone else again.

But then along came the Survey Research Lab, where I've been pretty happily employed part time for over two years, offering me a position with good pay, and amazing university benefits (10 weeks total paid vacation and sick leave a year, yes please! 100% tution reimbursement, yes please! Health insurance, double yes!.) I could have done the job part time, but I would have missed out on most of the benefits, so I took it full time, and worried that I'd end up feeling over worked and resentful.

It's only been two days so far, but I'm really pleasantly surprised. Not only has everyone at work been really congratulatory about it, but I've felt way happier at work since the change. Something about not being hourly, not having to punch out when I go to lunch, having an office (with a computer that has speakers so I can listen to internet radio while I work - yes!), and being in a position of more responsibility feels really good. I've even felt better at home after I get home, which is totally not what I had expected. I think my abundance of free time that I had working 20ish hours a week actually made me less appreciative of the time I have to myself, as I had so much of it. I'd end up feeling ennui-y a lot of the time, and felt like I wasn't doing anything worthwhile with my time. Now I have less time, but I find myself being more proactive about making sure I'm doing something I really want to be doing instead of coasting. I also feel more like what I do at work is worthwhile, since I'm advancing in the department and taking care of more important stuff.

I don't know if this good feeling is going to last, but I sure hope that it does. I've been thinking a lot lately about what I want to do in the future, and having something resembling a satisfying career makes me feel a lot less pressured to figure some great change to make in my life. For years, the default answer I had was that I was going to go to grad school some day, but the more I learn about my friends graduate school experiences, the less it appeals to me, at least the kind of grad school that leads to professor-ship. I could see getting a masters in something related to my job (for free!) if I keep liking this. The only bad thing about this path would be I wouldn't use my AmeriCorps scholarship money, but that's not enough reason to go to more traditional grad school.

Vocal Range

Thu, 20 Mar 2008 16:12:47 GMT

We recently bought Rock Band, and it is a ton of fun. I'm really good on the guitar parts, and I'm getting pretty good on the drums as well. That leaves vocals, and as many of you know, I can't carry a tune at all.

In Rock Band, when you're on vocals, you have to match the pitch of the actual vocalist, or if your range isn't the same as theirs, do it an octave higher or lower. I had managed to stumble through some vocal tracks on Easy mode, but that was it.

Yesterday, I decided to practice a bit to see if I could get better. At first it was going ok, I was barely passing songs on Medium.

But then, there was Maps, by the Yeah Yeah Yeahs. As you might know, it has a female vocalist, singing in a much higher octave than the male vocalists I'd been emulating on previous songs. I thought, as the song started up, that it was going to be really hard, as I'd have to do it in a different octave from the actual singer.

Then the vocals started, and without really thinking about it, my voice went up to the octave she was singing in....and I five starred the song, on the first try! Then I did a few other songs, using that range even if it wasn't the original vocalist's, and continued to do way better.

Apparently, I have a female vocalist trapped inside me. So next time folks come over and play Rock Band, you'll have the treat of hearing me go soprano (well, alto probably, but y'know.)

Mental State Update

Tue, 18 Mar 2008 15:39:33 GMT

Yesterday I noticed something I hadn't noticed in a long time. I felt like I had plenty of time to do the things I wanted to without rushing so much that I couldn't enjoy them. This despite having to go into work in the evening, which usually makes me feel even more rushed.

I've also noticed that I'm actually looking forward to getting together with friends, instead of worrying about preparing for it. Reducing my level of social obligation really seems to have helped.

However, I am supposed to start working at the lab full time come April, so that may well break my feeling of abundant time over its knee. Hopefully I'll be able to manage it better than the last full time jobs I had. At least this time it's work I know I'm good at and don't hate, with people with whom I already have good rapport.

Heroes

Fri, 08 Feb 2008 21:58:49 GMT

glorgana and I just finished watching the first season of Heroes on DVD, we really liked it. I've heard from several people that the second season is nowhere near as good, and is in fact not worth watching. However, I really want to know what happens!

So, I require advice. Is this second season of Heroes so bad I'd be better off reading plot synopses online, or should I go ahead and watch it?

Wed, 19 Dec 2007 03:14:15 GMT

Heh, this is pretty much what I'd expect, except apparently I don't know how to choose which classes to combine. Wizard/Sorcerer, ugh.

I Am A: Neutral Good Elf Wizard/Sorcerer (2nd/1st Level)

Ability Scores:

Strength-11

Dexterity-10

Constitution-11

Intelligence-16

Wisdom-13

Charisma-15

Alignment:
Neutral Good A neutral good character does the best that a good person can do. He is devoted to helping others. He works with kings and magistrates but does not feel beholden to them. Neutral good is the best alignment you can be because it means doing what is good without bias for or against order. However, neutral good can be a dangerous alignment because because it advances mediocrity by limiting the actions of the truly capable.

Race:
Elves are known for their poetry, song, and magical arts, but when danger threatens they show great skill with weapons and strategy. Elves can live to be over 700 years old and, by human standards, are slow to make friends and enemies, and even slower to forget them. Elves are slim and stand 4.5 to 5.5 feet tall. They have no facial or body hair, prefer comfortable clothes, and possess unearthly grace. Many others races find them hauntingly beautiful.

Primary Class:
Wizards are arcane spellcasters who depend on intensive study to create their magic. To wizards, magic is not a talent but a difficult, rewarding art. When they are prepared for battle, wizards can use their spells to devastating effect. When caught by surprise, they are vulnerable. The wizard's strength is her spells, everything else is secondary. She learns new spells as she experiments and grows in experience, and she can also learn them from other wizards. In addition, over time a wizard learns to manipulate her spells so they go farther, work better, or are improved in some other way. A wizard can call a familiar- a small, magical, animal companion that serves her. With a high Intelligence, wizards are capable of casting very high levels of spells.

Secondary Class:
Sorcerers are arcane spellcasters who manipulate magic energy with imagination and talent rather than studious discipline. They have no books, no mentors, no theories just raw power that they direct at will. Sorcerers know fewer spells than wizards do and acquire them more slowly, but they can cast individual spells more often and have no need to prepare their incantations ahead of time. Also unlike wizards, sorcerers cannot specialize in a school of magic. Since sorcerers gain their powers without undergoing the years of rigorous study that wizards go through, they have more time to learn fighting skills and are proficient with simple weapons. Charisma is very important for sorcerers; the higher their value in this ability, the higher the spell level they can cast.

Find out What Kind of Dungeons and Dragons Character Would You Be?, courtesy of Easydamus

Sun, 18 Nov 2007 17:31:32 GMT

Your results:
You are James T. Kirk (Captain)

James T. Kirk (Captain)		70%
Jean-Luc Picard		55%
Will Riker		55%
Spock		54%
Deanna Troi		50%
Chekov		45%
Uhura		35%
An Expendable Character (Redshirt)		35%
Leonard McCoy (Bones)		35%
Beverly Crusher		30%
Data		27%
Geordi LaForge		25%
Mr. Scott		25%
Mr. Sulu		20%
Worf		15%

You are often exaggerated and over-the-top
in your speech and expressions.
You are a romantic at heart and a natural leader.

Click here to take the Star Trek Personality Quiz

Looking at the top four matches, I'm apparently command staff! (Captain, Captain, First Officer, First Officer.)

Important Announcement!

Sat, 17 Nov 2007 05:04:42 GMT

Hitler is dead again!

This is approximately the weirdest movie I have ever seen. Wow. Just wow. Strongly NOT recommended. Amusingly, Mark Hamill does one of the voices, and he got this and his Star Wars role at the same audition.

Saying Yes

Sun, 11 Nov 2007 17:37:28 GMT

The session of Dungeons and Dragons that I ran yesterday went really well. I had done a moderate amount of preparation, and set up the adventure as an ongoing situation that the players entered, with several hooks but no obvious plot rail. The party need some information held in the archives of a repressive, anti-magic, anti-nature government, and said government was not at all inclined to let them have it.

After one player character got captured and thrown in the dungeon, the rest of the party decided, very quickly, to seek out the enemies of the regime, and not only rescue their friend, but also overthrow the Lord of the city and put his bandit brother in his place!

Now, standard D&D DMing says a lot of "no." Like "No, you can't overthrow the regime, they have too many guards, too strong of a keep, too many resources, etc." or says "Maybe, if you overcome wave upon wave of guards who fight to the death and storm the castle gates." Instead, I said "Yes, this could work" on the basis that the bandit brother had a legitimate claim to the Lordship, most of the guards weren't loyal or dumb enough to fight against bad odds, and the Lord was overconfident in his security. In the real world, lightning fast, mostly bloodless coups do happen, and the players came up with a great plan (releasing all the prisoners in the dungeons never hurts).

So after breaking into the dungeon from the sewers and freeing their captured friend, they met little resistance to their force of nearly 30 bandits and prisoners backed up by the PCs and the local reluctantly involved wizard and enthusiastically involved druid. Most of the guards surrendered, leaving only a climactic battle with the Lord and his closest allies in his chambers. The Lord ended up beheaded by the player character who he had captured and had tortured, and the battle was won.

I thought about ending the session after the party had concocted their plan, and fully prepping for the storming of the castle, but I knew if I did that the momentum would be stopped and need to be restarted next time. So I ran it without pre-prepping, and I think it came out all the more dramatic for it.

I hadn't particularly expected the players to go straight for overthrowing the government. I had thought they'd go for a simple jail break, or a stealth mission into the archive to retrieve the information they needed. But they went for something bolder, and by my saying yes to that, our story is all the better. In general, I think a GM should say yes as much as they can, because when everyone's ideas are incorporated into the story, everyone is encouraged to contribute, and to be more engaged, instead of, as too often happens in role playing in general, waiting to see what the GM wants them to do.

Thanks for a great session guys, I had loads of fun.

Another Bald Prophet Update

Thu, 11 Oct 2007 04:14:21 GMT

I've updated Bald Prophet with an observation from our play test tonight. Text of the article below the cut, or go to the actual post.

Play Test Innovation – Scenes Without the Protagonist

In our play testing session tonight, we stumbled upon a new technique for collaborative storytelling. Annamarie’s protagonist had left a scene with a minor character played by me, and the Dreamer (Julia), had additional characters approach the minor character and discuss plot related information.

This allowed the information to be introduced to all the players, despite the Protagonist missing it. In our last session, the Protagonist missed an important scene, and thus it was not played out before the group, and the Protagonist’s player and I never got to hear about the cool plot stuff, and that blunted our enjoyment of the session.

Thus, we will be specifically incorporating this technique in our future sessions. Much like a movie or novel, where some scenes will be played out without the Protagonist, Becoming will have scenes without the Protagonist to advance the plot.

In a traditional RPG, this would mean the GM would be playing several NPCs talking to one another, but in Becoming, it means that two or more players have a conversation, which, while involving no Protagonists, is still analogous to a player-character discussion in a traditional RPG. Especially with recurring NPCs, I think it will feel like having multiple character that are yours, as they can have scenes even without the Protagonists. This causes me to wonder if, during Becoming play, one’s Protagonist will cease to feel like “my character” and instead become “the main character that I portray, along with my other characters.” This could encourage more risky play, for example, letting a Protagonist engage in very life-threatening activities, as the self-identification with “your” character might be weaker. This in turn would allow the stories to go places that RPG stories usually don’t go. I’ll be keeping on eye on it as play progresses.

trianakvetch had her first go at Dreaming tonight, and it went very well. Overall, our play test is working out quite nicely, though it is rather silly at times. Our unofficial play test campaign title? Two Ninjas, a Pirate, and a Paladin!

Bald Prophet Update

Thu, 27 Sep 2007 23:19:29 GMT

I've posted a new article on our ongoing Nature of the Dream:Becoming play test at Bald Prophet

Play Test Session Three – Becoming Actual Play and Collaborative System Overview

Last week's play test was taken up by finishing character creation, and chatting with our play testers who had just gotten engaged to each other. Congrats Kyle and Julia!

Thus, after a dinner of pesto and sticks-and-twigs bread, and while eating home-made scones, we got down to actual play. As I explained in my last post regarding Becoming, the protagonists start out separate from each other, and their stories are played out separately. Thus, we played the first episode in the adventures of Julia's character, Louis Brummond, Lorthamirian ex-military architect on the run from a ex best friend, who happens to also be a retired General, and is using his military connections to try to kill Louis' young son, James Brummond.

As only one of the player's protagonist characters, namely Louis, was being played, that left the rest of our group of four without the usual player roles to fill. I've designed a collaborative system to allow for everyone to participate, even though only one PC is being played. One player, in this case me, take the role of the Dreamer, who serves in much the same role that a GM does in other systems. The Dreamer sets the scene, introduces NPCs, assigns target numbers, and arbitrates rules. The other two players, in the this Annamarie and Kyle, play NPCs who are interacting with the PC. For this episode, Kyle mainly portrayed James Brummond, who is on the run with his father. Annamarie filled the roles of two brigands who attacked Louis and James, and may be on the payroll of Louis' nemesis. As the episode went on, Annamarie also portrayed Louis' helpful cousin Frank, and Frank's butler. Kyle also portrayed Sarah, a young wizard's apprentice who plans to help Louis and James in the next episode. As you can see, the players who are not PCing or Dreaming had responsibility for several NPCs. I had worried that with multiple characters portrayed by one player in a scene, the game might run awkwardly, but we did not have a problem, even with Kyle and Annamarie portraying two characters each in a late scene.

I had originally conceptualized the Dreamer as portraying no NPCs at all, but I found that I was somewhat lacking in responsibilities, and there were quite a number of NPCs in some scenes. Thus, I took the role of Yohann, a minor nobleman and ex-soldier, who is definitely working for Louis' nemesis, as well as Elizabeth, Frank's wife.

This method of play has more in common with improvisational theater that most RPGs. As the Dreamer for the episode, I did not prepare any materials ahead of time. We worked as a group to set the starting conditions for the episode, namely, that Louis and James were preparing dinner at a campsite after their first day of flight from Louis' nemesis. From there, I developed a first challenge, that they would be attacked by brigands. After that encounter was resolved, play continued, primarily directed by Julia's declarations of Louis' intent, and the resolution of those actions.

Another important component of this mode of play is the selection of what scenes need to be played out, and what scenes can be left off-screen. In many role playing games, a continual immersion in the time line of the story is attempted, with occasional fast-forwards for long travel and the like. For Becoming the players discuss, with the Dreamer leading, what scene to go to after one is resolved. For example, after the scene with the brigands and the immediate aftermath thereof, we skipped to Louis and James arriving at Frank's manor house and seeking sanctuary, briefly narrating the time in between. After that point, we moved through important discussions among the manor residents, and scenes involving Yohann's attempts to goad James into a duel by proxy. This approach, combined with the focus on one PCs story, help speed play. In only one and a half hours, we progressed through six scenes, one of which was a combat scene, and the others involving development of the prepared characters and introduction and development of seven new characters, filling both minor and major supporting roles, all of whom were developed in play.

The final major component of the collaborative system is the incorporation of all the players' input into the facts of the story. Julia, as the player PCing had primary control of Louis' back story, resources, connections and actions. Louis' cousin Frank in the next town over exists because Julia decided that Louis was fleeing to a relative's home nearby. The Dreamer has primary control over the setting and the facts about NPCs, but other players suggestions are incorporated, such as Kyle suggesting the Frank was a gem trader, and Annamarie, as Frank, suggesting that they seek the help of “that young woman who is studying illusion magic.” The idea is to accept players suggestions, and build upon them, as long as they are within the theme and mood of the story. This is done informally in many role playing groups, but I have encoded in formally into the play mode here.

We did a short debrief post session, with the following results:

We saw NPCs that I created take on a life of their own by being portrayed by other players. With a single GM, NPC behaviors are limited to one person's ides, while with a ensemble, the players can take advantage of the whole groups' ideas. Also, as an NPC whose concept is created by one player can then be portrayed by another, you can get mixes of concept and execution that would not otherwise occur.
All the players felt engaged in the storytelling, despite their PCs not being on stage. That this occurred is excellent, as if the non-PCing non-Dreaming players felt left out, the entire concept would not function. The consensus was that the constant improvisation and character switching were a lot of fun.
As the Dreamer, I found I had more time to think about the next events in the story while Annamarie and Kyle portrayed the main NPCs, compared to when I am GMing Dungeons and Dragons, where I must portray all the NPCs and develop the plot at the same time.
As the PC, Julia liked the idea of not continuing her story right away next time we play, so she can think about Louis' plans and the effects of the events that have occurred on him.
In effect, we were running a two player highly unbalanced party, as Louis and James were together the entire time, and James is at a much lower level of skill than Louis. In most RPGs, this would engender feelings of jealousy in the person whose character is less powerful. Here, as James is not Kyle's primary character, it allowed us to tell a story that would be hard to tell in a party based RPG.
James is effectively Louis' sidekick. We have worked out tentative rules for sidekick advancement. Namely, they will get one half of the XP that the PC earns, and will be consistently portrayed by the same player whenever possible. In effect, the sidekick is a sort of second PC for that player.
We need to go over the Presence spending rules before each session until everyone gets used to it. No one spent any Presence during this episode, and Louis took a moderate wound that could have been alleviated by Presence Point use. As with any system, we will need time to acclimate.
When the Dreamer gives an NPC to another player to portray, it is important to note what the NPC's goals are, and if it is a group of NPCs, to make clear how many of them there are. When I gave Annamarie the brigands to portray, I did not make clear if they were trying to kill Louis and James or if they just wanted their money, nor did I emphasize there were two of them, which led to confusion.
We should emphasize that the player PCing should take initiative to drive the story onward, as it is their story. Julia started the session in a more passive mode, quite likely taken from our GM-driven Dungeons and Dragons game. With practice, I hope we'll all be able to continually act while PCing without frequent “what are you doing” prompts from the Dreamer.

Overall, I am very pleased with this session. I plan write a post going into more detail regarding the mechanics of play soon, as this session recap does not fill that role.

Please direct any comments to the actual Bald Prophet blog entry.

The Nature of the Dream

Mon, 17 Sep 2007 02:32:54 GMT

As of last week glorgana and I have just started play testing our RPG again after a long hiatus, and it feels good. We've got a new system, which is far more exciting than the ones we've had previously, and a plan to meet weekly with trianakvetch and festindesang, so I'm really looking forward to seeing how this goes. As part of the play testing process, I'm going to be posting on our web site regarding the process, and on why I've made the system design decisions I've made, and will make.

The first post is here: The Nature of the Dream

Lord of the Rings Online

Sun, 09 Sep 2007 18:15:56 GMT

For those of you who saw glorgana's post on LOTRO, we are now on Landroval with Beau, so anyone else who wants to join us should head to that server. We are thinking that we will actually purchase the game, for it is nifty.

Death

Tue, 07 Aug 2007 14:55:10 GMT

Looking at my journal today, it struck me that the last two posts are both about death. Apparently, only something of that severity causes me to want to talk about my feelings, which is interesting, as I've often had trouble figuring out how to feel about death.

When a friend died in high school in a car accident, I felt very little, perhaps partly because he had already moved away, and was no longer really part of my life. More than that, I think, was the fact that I felt very little at all at that point in my life. It really freaked my Mom out, she thought I was maybe hiding my sadness or I had something deeply wrong with me, but the feeling just wasn't there. Looking back, maybe that was something deeply wrong with me, that I was auto piloting through my life without feeling much of anything.

When there was a murder/suicide involving people I did not know at my college my freshman year, I also felt very little, besides surprise. But this time, I felt like I should feel something, so I put on an act of being very upset. I just felt fake.

When another, closer friend died in another car accident a couple years ago, I made myself not pretend feelings I didn't have. I didn't cry as hard as some of my friends did, or as soon, but I was genuinely sad, when I gave myself enough time to truly feel it.

The last two deaths, you all know about from my last two posts. I have had much the same experience as with the second car fatality. I didn't get very upset right away, and didn't sob or feel broken. Rather, the sadness was slower and quieter, and I think that's all right.

In a more general sense, I think I let myself minimize emotions most of the time, and I think of feeling things strongly, especially negative things, as shameful or weak. Even more generally, I find it hard to be proud of what and who I am, about the details of my life. I think this is the main reason I do not post here often, as I find it uncomfortable to share myself with all of you. Even now, I am struggling with whether to post this, and whether to friends lock it so that my parents don't see it.

I think I have in my mind a perfect, unemotional, selfless, successful person, and I am afraid to show that I'm not him.

Marmalade

Sat, 03 Feb 2007 16:40:24 GMT

Today I had toast with orange marmalade for breakfast. This was a victory, for I am getting over the stomach flu, and anything more complicated than plain rice or chicken broth has been a challenge to digest. I don't buy orange marmalade.

* * *

Eight days ago, with just a few hours notice, Annamarie and I drove to my parents' house in Three Oaks, Michigan, so I could take care of my dad after hip replacement revision surgery. He had his hip replaced when he was thirty-seven, due to rheumatoid arthritis, he is now fifty-four. Last August, they had replaced the metal ball and plastic cup that form the inner assembly of his artificial hip, due to wear and tear. Since then, he had dislocated his hip four times, each time requiring an emergency room visit. Thus, they went in again, and changed the ball and cup assembly to a larger size, one that is less likely to dislocate. When we drove down to their house, he was still in the hospital, having just had the surgery that morning.

* * *

Seven days ago, we got up at 5:15am, Michigan time, to take my mom to the bus that would take her to Midway airport, where she would catch a flight to Las Vegas, where she would board a bus to the small Utah town where her parents and one older sister live. Her father, my grandfather, was dying.

Around 9:00am, Mom called the house, and told us that Grandpa had just died. She was still at Midway.

That afternoon, we retrieved Dad from the hospital. That night, I had to help him change his clothes, and re-do the dressing on his hip incision.

* * *

For the next three days, it snowed, until my parents' house was covered in almost two feet of it. On the third day, Dad began to feel ill, with stomach pain, headache, weakness, and trouble breathing after standing briefly.

* * *

Three days ago, at around 8:45am Dad called his doctor to see what to do about his symptoms. They said to come in to their office later that morning to see what was going on.

About thirty minutes later, they called Dad back, and told him to go to the emergency room, as his symptoms might indicate a pulmonary embolism. On the way to the hospital, Dad called Mom, and told her where we were going. She was in Las Vegas, waiting for her flight to come home. Later she would tell us that during the flight, she broke down, because having Dad go to the hospital right after Grandpa died was too reminiscent of how Dad's dad had died.

After five hours in the emergency room, with blood work and x-rays, we were told they couldn't find anything wrong with Dad, and they sent us home. Dad decided it must just be the stomach flu.

Shortly after we got back to Three Oaks, Annamarie arrived, bringing Mom from Chicago. Mom had brought two jars of orange marmalade with her. It was Grandpa's favorite jam, and Grandma had just bought two jars of it before he went to the hospital, and couldn't bear to eat them. Mom kept one, and we brought one home to Chicago with us.

* * *

Two days ago, I went back to work, and had a cup of coffee. I should have known better, as coffee often upsets my stomach. But this time, it wasn't the normal coffee effect, it was much worse. I made it through the rest of my shift, then came home and tried to kill it with off-brand Pepto-Bismol. I didn't work, I ended up getting up in the middle of the night for half an hour of diarrhea, and Annamarie drove to get off-brand Immodium at 5:30 in the morning.

* * *

Yesterday, after Annamarie had left for work, I got up, went the the bathroom, and felt as if I were going to vomit and pass out, sweat pouring off my body. I only managed to stay conscious by bending myself over the edge of the bathtub, with my head down in the tub, for about five minutes before I was well enough to sit up again. Luckily, just as I was getting myself in order again, Annamarie arrived back at home, having been feeling ill herself, worried about transmitting whatever I had to her co-workers, and worried about me. I called Mom, and let her know that I had the same thing Dad had, so it was definitely an infection of some kind.

After two doses of Immodium, my digestive system calmed down, and I spent the rest of the day laying around, plying my stomach with mild foods.

* * *

This morning, feeling mostly well, I ate my dead grandfather's marmalade.

An Ending

Wed, 29 Nov 2006 18:40:57 GMT

My parents called me about an hour ago to tell me that our dog, Roxie, died overnight. She'd been having seizures for around a month, and had been slowly getting worse. Yesterday she was ok for most of the day, but had a seizure in the evening, and in the morning she was dead.

Honestly, I never liked Roxie as well as other pets I've had, mainly because she had a skin issue that made your hands smell bad after you petted her, so she was unpleasant to touch, and she ate her own poop, so her breath was always terrible, so even being around her smelled bad. She would always pester you for more attention regardless of how much you gave her, so it was hard to get away from the stink. She was always a nice dog, though, always happy to see you, and while the incessant attention begging could be annoying, at least you knew she liked you.

I'm not really broken up about her death, just quietly sad. I'll miss her mainly because she's one more thing of my old home that I'll never see again. It's funny, in the years I lived with my parents, and thus Roxie, I didn't pet her much, and tried to get her to leave me alone most of the time, because of the odor problems she had. When we got Dostoy, our cat, I re-learned that petting animals is nice, and thus when I'd visit and see Roxie, I'd pet her automatically, and she was always appreciative, so I somewhat overcame my aversion to touching her, and just washed my hands afterwards.

Over Thanksgiving weekend, Annamarie and I went to my parents house, and Roxie was obviously not in good shape. She had several seizures while we were there, and everyone gave her extra attention and care because of it. I gave her more affection over those three days than any other three days I can remember.

I'm glad I got a chance to do that for her, right before the end. Now, typing this, I finally cry a little. She was a good dog.

Phat Lootz

Wed, 08 Nov 2006 16:49:36 GMT

On a lighter note, from a Fark caption contest:

What is Santorum's son (far right, wide eyes) thinking?

"OMG I can't believe Beaststalker's Helm FINALLY dropped tonight and I have to spend the night HERE watching my dad get fired!"

Ah, nothing like WoW humor to lighten up politics.

Finally

Wed, 08 Nov 2006 16:45:29 GMT

I really only began paying attention to politics around the 2000 presidential elections, which I suppose isn't very surprising, since I was 18 at the time, and that was the first election I was able to vote in. Due to that timing, for the entire time I've been emotionally committed to what happens in our nation's government, the people I've been opposed to have been in control of most of the government, and it felt like whatever it was I wanted to happen, whoever I wanted to see in power would lose, no matter how impossibly illogical, morally misguided, and sometimes evil the opposition was.

I often feel like I exist in a different mind-place than most other people, because so many hold opinions that I cannot understand anyone holding, and that group seemed to always win at politics. This feeling, of course, is always in tension with the fact that so many people that I actually interact with, my friends, co-workers, most of the population of the internet, even most strangers I meet here in Chicago, seem to be within the mind-place where my kind of logic works. A lot of this seems tied to the differences between urban people and non-urban people. My jobs cause me to travel to the affluent suburbs rather often, and when I do this, I often feel like I've entered a territory hostile to the very way I think, as well as to my outward appearance and lifestyle choices. The phrase that best sums up my experience in those places is "Sir, can I help you?" in a tone that makes it clear the "Sir" is not an honorific.

Yesterday, and in the days leading up to yesterday, I dared not hope that the Democrats would do as well in the House and Senate as they were predicted to do. After all, I had the dreadful disappointment of the 2004 election to show me that even when I was certain that things must change for the better, they would not. The fact that they took the House by a large margin (you were right, Ian), and may take the Senate (come on Virginia and Montana) shows me that maybe more people share my mind-space than I thought.

For me, this is not just a political victory. It is also a victory against a deep personal feeling of alienation from the mainstream of our country.

Finally.

Meme of awesome!

Wed, 11 Oct 2006 04:06:34 GMT

1. Google Halloween and the year you were born.
2. Post the most bizzarely frightening photo you find.
3. Recoil in horror.

Game update

Thu, 17 Aug 2006 04:00:10 GMT

Tonight was very productive, as I ran a much needed play test for Dream of Nature, trying out the recently revamped game system. Check out the details at the site blog.

More Memeage

Wed, 19 Jul 2006 15:55:31 GMT

If you ask me to:

1. I'll respond with something random about you.
2. I'll challenge you to try something.
3. I'll pick a color that I associate with you.
4. I'll tell you something I like about you.
5. I'll tell you my first/clearest memory of you.
6. I'll tell you what animal you remind me of.
7. I'll ask you something I've always wanted to ask you.
8. If I do this for you, you must post this on yours. (again, optional)

Here we go again

Wed, 19 Jul 2006 15:07:21 GMT

Word Meme
They say that brevity is the soul of wit. Time to test that.

Respond to this post and I will give you the three words that I think MOST accurately describe you.

The cost? You have to return the favor by posting this in your own journal. (I hate obligation, so this is optional)

Heh

Wed, 19 Jul 2006 14:14:44 GMT

<td align="center"> Reid --
[adjective]:

Like in nature to a train-riding hobo

'How will you be defined in the dictionary?' at QuizGalaxy.com</td>

Important Lessons In Website Editing

Mon, 17 Jul 2006 15:55:40 GMT

Today we learned a very impotant thing about how to update Bald Prophet. Readers using Internet Explorer had been seeing more than half the page in WingDings font. We're grateful to digfarenough for pointing this out, and for finding in the html a command that actually tells it to use WingDings.

Huh.

Now, we didn't purposely put in such a command, and it only shows in Internet Explorer. So I just went back in, delete the extra command, and viola, it's fixed. But how did it get there? Our current theory is that it's because glorgana sometimes writes posts in Word, and Word loves to put in extra formatting you don't ask for in your file.

Lesson? Don't use Word.

Bald Prophet Update

Sun, 16 Jul 2006 15:11:21 GMT

Those of you who know glorgana and I personally, or who read her journal, know that we're working on writing and publishing a tabletop role playing game, titled Dream of Nature, and have recently started a website for this endeavor, www.baldprophet.com. For those of you who didn't know, well, now you do!

Recently, we asked for our readers help in naming a currently unnamed race in our setting. Now, we've announced our decision on that name. If you're interested in knowing what we picked, or in our game in general, head on over.